


if this room was burning

by jongleur



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Growing Up, M/M, Pining, wow so much fluff stop me please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongleur/pseuds/jongleur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times everyone else in the room can see it and the one time Rin and Haru do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if this room was burning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thecivilunrest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecivilunrest/gifts).



> Hello :) So, this is my contribution to the RinHaru Christmas Exchange 2014! I really hope you enjoy it, especially you thecivilunrest who prompted me with rinharu from another character's point of view! This one’s for you ;) I wish I could've done something a bit longer but I was tight on time, I apologize.  
> On another note, the fic starts with canon timeline but on the last two scenes it does diverge from canon. 
> 
> Merry Christmas to anyone who’s celebrating it and to those who aren’t, just enjoy the RinHaru! 
> 
> title from one direction’s little white lies bc apparently i’ve got…no control.

-

Nagisa is only nine years old and has known Nanase Haruka for like…a long time (four months is a long time for a nine year old), but he is sure he has only seen Haru smile _twice_. Twice. Nagisa thinks that’s pretty weird but then again, this is the boy who smiles 24/7. Extremes and all that.

The first time he sees him smile is when Haru opens his Bento box during lunch time, exactly one week after they met, and is filled with Mackerel. _Brimming_ with Mackerel. It’s a tiny, tiny smile and Nagisa has to squint his eyes a bitas if not believing what he is seeing. He turns to Makoto, see if he’s witnessing the same thing as him, but Mako is munching and babbling on and on about something to Haru, who starts eating as if nothing has happened. Nagisa thinks he might be going a bit insane. Or it might be all the chlorine from the pool’s water.

The second time he sees Haru smile is during swimming club practice. It’s, once again, almost invisible but Nagisa manages to see it right before Haru artfully dives in. He wonders if he’s the only one who can see Haru smile, if he has some ancient weird power that allows him to see people’s smiles when they’re actually not doing it. Hey, he’s only nine.

But, as he sits on the edge of the almost empty pool, feet dangling in the water and Mako sitting by his side, it really sets in that Haruka is just someone who _doesn’t_ smile. Nagisa sighs but before he can start wallowing in his own thoughts, he recoils in surprise at the heavy splashes of feet hitting water at a rapid pace; it’s Haru and the new boy, Rin Matsuoka.

Rin had just joined the week before and he’s also a really good swimmer; better than Mako and Naisa, at least, but not better than Haruka, no one is better than Haruka! He’s always smiling and talking and Nagisa likes him a lot. He thinks Haru likes him too, even when he’s always frowning and rolling his eyes at the other boy’s antics.

“C’mon, Haru-chan!” Mako yells gleefully beside him, flailing his arms.

Nagisa laughs and turns to the swimming boys, “You can do it, RinRin!”

As almost every time, Haru comes in first, if only by the fewest of moments. Rin comes out laughing, not bothered by the outcome. He takes Haru in a close arm lock and ruffles his wet, black hair, “One day, Nanase,” but his voice is light and friendly.

Nagisa is about to turn and walk to his friends as they’re coming out the pool, he really is, but then.

He see it, there it is again!

Haruka is smiling!

This time he can see it clearly, it’s there, no need denying it, and it’s bigger than the last two smiles, this one’s not a ghost, it’s there and big and it’s stays there for a couple of more seconds. Haru still tries to hide it, unaware that little Nagisa is watching, wonder in his eyes.

No one else sees it, not Makoto, not Rin, who are now chasing each other around the pool as Haruka grabs a towel and starts drying himself. Nagisa sighs contently.

“Do you wanna go to the park?” Mako yells from the other side of the pool, a tired and heaving Rin smiling by his side.

Haru shrugs, going wherever the rest of his friends are going. Nagisa gives a thumbs up and rushes to get his clothes on.

The walk to the park is short, they only stop to buy some ice lollies before resting under the shadow of a green tree. Mako and Haru rest shoulder to shoulder while Nagisa slumps down and assumes a starfish position, head resting on Makoto’s lap. Rin looks down at him curiously before a giant grin makes its way onto his face; he slumps down and does the same as Nagisa, but his head rests against Haru’s lap instead.

Haru turns a bit red and Nagisa wants to laugh out loud, but by some miracle his nine year old brain tells him not, so he doesn’t.

They rest for a while, quiet and slurping down their lollies. A few minutes pass, their snack almost completely gone when, suddenly, a blue drop of ice falls from Haru’slolly directly onto Rin’s forehead. Rin freezes with a flinch, then crosses his eyes trying to see the offending drop of sticky goo. And then Haru laughs.

Just like that. It’s short and soft but it’s so unexpected that Nagisa and Makoto start laughing too. Rin pouts as he rubs off his forehead. Haru has stopped laughing but he’s eyes are still warm and very, very bright.

Nagisa lays there on the soft grass, calming himself. He thinks that he really likes his friends and that he really likes Haru smiling and laughing, even if it’s small and quiet. He thinks that if Rin can make Haru happy like that, then Rin should always stay by their side.

-

Gou doesn’t get to see her big brother very often. It still makes her undeniably sad, but she starts relishing the moments when he is home visiting from Australia instead of wallowing in self-pity.

This is one of those times.

“Onii-chan, what are we gonna do tomorrow? We can go ice-skating! Oh, or we can go see a movie!” Gou exclaims, ignores the dinner on her plate and instead stares at Rin with stars on her eyes.

Rin shrugs with the feign arrogance only a big brother can have, “Can’t, Gou. ‘mgonna go see Haru tomorrow, I’ll finally beat him, you know?”

Their mum only smiles fondly and rolls her eyes, but Gou is frowning with a big pout on her face. _Always Haruka, stupid Haruka_.

“But Rin I’m your sister!” she whines, arms flailing wildly in exasperation. “I deserve more Rin time than a pool!”

“ _No_ , Gou. We’ll do something the next day. I promise.”

Gou sighs but relents.

The next day is colder than usual and Gou wakes up late. When she goes down to have breakfast, she finds that Rin has already left and grumpily start eating.

She spends her day like a lazy cat, wandering around aimlessly around the house, watching TV and reading a book. Just as she’s starting to get bored, she finally hears the entrance door open and close on a whim, heavy footsteps making their way upstairs.

She turns around and sees Rin, face stoic and eyebrows scrunched up. He always does that when he’s mad, remembers Gou.

“Onii-chan…are you a-alright?” she asks softly, but loud enough for Rin to hear her.

“Don’t go into my room.” Is all he says, then leaves and closes the door with a click.

Gou stares at the closed door in confusion, wondering what could’ve happened and why was her brother acting like this. She goes back to the sofa but spends the whole afternoon worrying about her brother, who doesn’t come out even once all day.Rin is usually so cheerful, she _hates_ seeing him that way.

Well, she’ll find out tomorrow when she goes out with Rin, she supposes. She’ll know everything tomorrow and she’ll fix like only she knows she can. With kisses and hugs.

She goes to sleep early, creases on her forehead, and worrying thoughts on her mind.

Rustling sound wake her up very early in the morning the next day; she grunts and looks up at her alarm clock. 7:13, it reads. Why would _anyone_ wake up at this hour on a Sunday morning?

When she hears even more rustling and steps just outside of her room, she stands up and goes to see what all the commotion is about and why has she been woken up at such an ungodly hour.

As Gou peeks her head out, she sees her mother with a duffel bag on hand.

“What’s happening?” she rubs her eyes in confusion.

“Rin’s going back today.” Her mum says apologetically, sad smile adorning her face.

“ _W-what?_ But he just got here!” she stutters.

She flinches as Rin says from behind her, “I can’t waste any more time, I need to go back and train.”

She turns back and looks on sadly as Rin goes to his room to finish packing. She doesn’t understand what’s happened or why her brother is acting so cold. Rin and their mother leave at 7:30. She doesn’t even get a proper goodbye.

Gou sniffles as she stares from her window and sees her brother go once again. _It’s not fair_.

She enters his room in a small fit of rage; she grabs his pillow on throws it on the floor. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, _it’s not fair_.

When she finally calms down, she sits on the bed, breathing heavily but resigning. If that’s what Rin wants. If she knows anything about her brother is that Rin’s determined; it is what it is.

She turns to leave the room but something catches her eyes: Rin’s trashcan is full of crumpled up pieces of paper. She walks closer to inspect and grabs one of the unassuming pieces. She opens it and tries to flatten it, then reads it.

_Haru, I’m sorry._

She glares at the paper in deep confusion. She grabs another. And another one, and another. They’re all a variation of the same message: _I’m sorry, Haru, I’m sorry_.

She sighs sadly and thinks, _Always Haruka, isn’t it? Always him._

-

Rei has hanged out with the swimming club plenty of times, he has also talked amicably with Rin a decent amount of times. However, this is the first time he is truly out and about with the club _and_ Rin just chilling out. It feels weird to say the least. He can still remember when Rin faux hated them, and now he’s here talking loudly and bright as if nothing has happened. It’s not like Rei minds, it just feels weird.

They’re laying lazily on Haru’s living room, watching and occasionally commenting on the trashy reality show Nagisa had wanted to see. It feels weird but the good kind of weird, as if Rin was the missing puzzle piece of their little group. It’s no wonder why the rest of the boys seems to like him so much, and now Rei gets to experience the full Rin-experience.

He keeps on watching the TV for a few more minutes, occasionally laughing at the ridiculousness of it, and then turns his head a bit, only to grab a handful of popcorn, when he almost faints at the sight of it.

Rin is basically on top of Haru. Like, his _actual_ head is resting on Haru’s shoulder and Haru doesn’t seem to mind and it’s all a bit too much for Rei.

When they told him Haru and Rin were close he didn’t find it odd, Makoto is close to Haru too, almost codependent, however he’s never seen Makoto and Haru _cuddle_ , for lack of better word.

But there they are, cold, stoic Haru and aggressive loud-mouthed Rin. Rei wants to laugh, this is even better than the stupid TV show they’re watching.

Out of the corner of his eye he catches Nagisa’s sight; he’s smirking, bright eyes holding a secret. A not so hidden secret, Rei muses.

It’s barely 10 when the show ends and it’s still horribly early, at least according to Nagisa. They decide to put a spy movie, something Rei has heard of a couple of times but actually never watched. Someone should tell Nagisa that he has awfully bad taste in TV shows and movies. That probably won’t be him. Or anyone for that matter. Woe is him.

It starts slow, a few explosions here and there but it’s so, _so_ boring that Rei wants to hit himself on the head just to see if he passes out. No luck.

Nagisa, _of course Nagisa_ , is the first one to doze off, forty minutes into the movie. Rei rolls his eyes at him, jealous of the boy’s ability to sleep whenever he wants to, but then stands up and turns off the light, the room completely dark with only the TV lightning it.

Rei grumbles, covers himself with his duvet but keeps on watching the movie. Twenty minutes later and he hears loud, rumbling snoring. He turns to the left, only to find Mako asleep in an uncomfortable position. Whatever, he has to finish the movie now, he needs to watch how it all ends.

And so he does, he watches, astonished, how the protagonist wakes up and realizes that it had all been a dream. Rei wants to stand up and applaud, this might just be his new favorite movie. But before he can actually utter a word, his ears catch a light whisper.

It’s Rin, his voice is soft, probably assuming the rest of the boys fell asleep, Rei included.

He doesn’t want to eavesdrop, he really, really doesn’t, but he also doesn’t want to intrude in Rin and Haru’s moment, it seems so intimate, something they both haven’t had in a while.

Rei can hear Rin whispering, there might or might not be a slight smile as he speaks,“I’m really glad I’m friends with you and the boys again, Haru.”

Haru hums once, eyelids dropping.

“It reminds me of the old times. I mean, is really different, a lot has changed, but…it’s nice, that’s all.” Rin continues.

There’s silence for a few seconds, as if Haru had finally fallen asleep. But then he hears Haru’s even softer voice.

“I missed you. _A lot_ , Rin.” Then there’s silence.

Rei stares at the dark ceiling in wonder.

Rin Matsuoka and HarukaNanase will _never_ stop surprising him.

-

It’s been one year and a half since Mako, Rin, and Haru graduated from high school.

Mako’s wearing an ugly yet warm sweater, a gift from his siblings, as he prepares five cups of hot chocolate. He can hear Nagisa and Rei arguing about something from the living room; his two younger friends were still in high school, but had decided to visit the rest of them in Tokyo just in time for the Shogatsu festival, which they’ll be going to the next day.

He can also hear the warm laughs from Rin and even Haru’s silence sounds content. Mako smiles before calling for Nagisa.

“Nagisa! Come help me with the chocolate!” he yells from the kitchen, and in an instant, a wide eyed blond is by his side.

“Chocolate!” Nagisa, forever with a sweet-tooth, cheers before grabbing three mugs and taking them to his friends.

Makoarrives to the living room, finds a spot next to his best friend who is sitting next to Rin. Like always, Nagisa and Rei are sitting together.

“What are you talking about now?” Mako asks.

“I’m telling Nagisa about Christmas and New Year’s traditions in Australia,” Rin replies, “Rei and I are trying to explain to him mistletoes and New Year’s kiss, but he doesn’t believe us.”

Nagisa shouts, “I just can’t believe people do that in real life. No way.”

“They do it all the time in movies.” Mako raises an eyebrow

“Yeah, I _know_ Mako-chan, but those are movies. I really can’t believe people can be that cheesy.”

“It’s not cheesy! _It’s romantic_.” Rin exclaims with a pout.

Mako pretends he didn’t just see Haru fidget.

He’s a good friend, he is, that’s why he’s been keeping quiet and not asking Haru about Rin; he knows his friend, and asking him if he’s got a crush on the red head is certainly going to make him embarrassed, even if it is true, which Mako is almost certain of. But…lately he’s been wondering if he _should_ talk to Haruka, ask him how he feels, maybe that’s what he needs.

He sighs quietly, but resumes the chat with a smile on his face.

They talk some more for a while, really relishing their time together, it’s not every day they get all togetherlike this, at least not with Nagisa and Rei; he really misses them.

When it’s about half till twelve they decide to sleep, Rin will be heading back to his flat, Mako and Haru will bunk on Mako’s room, and Rei and Nagisa will head to Haru’s.

Mako goes help his younger friends settle in, while Rin and Haru stay and talk for a while.

“What’s the deal with them?” Nagisa whispers as they walk down the narrow hallway.

“ _Right_?” Rei whispers back, conspiratorially. They both look at him.

Mako shrugs, “I am as clueless as you are guys.”

Nagisa shakes his head, “No, they’re the clueless ones.”

They get to the room and Mako gives them extra duvets and before he leaves, he warningly says, “Don’t try anything Nagisa. Rei, stop him if he gets too crazy.”

Rei nods,Nagisa sighs.

He walks back to the living room silently, already yawning. He’s about to call for Haru, ask him if he’s ready to go to bed, but stop dead on his tracks. Rin and Haru are leaning definitely very close, closer than usual.

Rin’s face is resembling very much a violet beet and he can’t see Haru’s face, but Mako can guess he’s not wearing his usual deadpan expression.

Mako looks down at his watch: it’s ten seconds until twelve. _Oh god_ , he realizes, _they’re trying to do a New Year’s Kiss._ A very awkward New Year’s kiss _._

He’s torn between laughing and cooing at his dork friends, but before he can leave and go giggle inside his own room, Rin spots him. Shit.

Rin pulls back in an instant,face getting even redder than before.

“Uh, hi, Mako. Was just leaving.” Rin mumbles and grabs his jacket quickly before putting it on.

Haru turns around and purses his lips. Anyone else who weren’t Mako would probably not see the deathly glare Haru’s sending his way. But he is. Mako winces.

“So, uh, alright, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Rin says and leaves in an instant.

Haru sighs.

“Wanna talk about it?” Mako asks with an empathetic smile.

“Not really.” Haru replies before yawning and resting his head on Mako’s shoulder.

“Alright,” Mako sighs at his best friend’s antics, “Alright, let’s go sleep, then.”

They both make their way to the room. Haru sleeps quickly and like a bear; Mako can’t.

Sometime he wishes he could say he didn’t think the same as Nagisa.

 

-

It’s a cold February morning when Rin asks Haru to go swim with him.

They don’t really get much alone time apart from weekend nights so it’s been a long time since they’ve swam together. Rin is still _happy_ that Haru is actually doing this with him, swmming, don’t get him wrong, but he’d imagined they’d have more time together.

And. Well, let’s just say swimming is not the only reason Rin wants to be with Haru.

Rin guesses it started the day of _the_ race, the one on the last weeks of their second year (although one could argue that feelings had always been there). It was just a tiny speck, a tiny, tiny speck of feelings. But they blossomed, oh, and did they blossomed big.

And that’s why he’s here, walking towards their usual aquatic center, at a horrible hour in the morning with trembling hands. He’s Rin Matsuoka, right? He’s not…he’s not afraid of little things like confessing his undying love to his childhood friend! Of course not.

He just hopes Haru hasn’t noticed the awkward silence.

Rin’s about to do it. About to say all he’s been feeling and just get it out of his chest, even if Haru calls him an idiot and leaves. But it’s never the right time. It’s seems like it’s _never_ the right time or place. Rin sighs as he lets just another opportunity pass by.

They walk through the doors, pass the guard who already knows them.

“It’s a bit chilly. You won’t mind swimming?” Rin asks, of course he already knows the answer, but his internal monologue is killing him and needs a distraction.

Haru deadpans. “No, I don’t want to swim today. It’s _chilly_.”

“What?” Rin stutters, looking at his dark haired friend. He sees the small smirk on his face and realizes that _HarukaNanase_ is being sarcastic. “Oh. You idiot.”

“Just get in the water, Matsuoka.” Says Haru before taing off his clothes, leaving only his swimming trunks, and splashing into the water on a record time.

Rin blinks. He really should get used to Haruka doing that, what with all the years he’s done it. He leaves his stuff on a white bench before, he too, jumps into the olympic pool with a splash.

They swim around aimlessly, just like Haru still likes, for a while, splashing and diving in silence just like in the old, old times. Rin lets another opportunity pass.

“Rin,” Harubreaks him from his reverie, “Race me?”

Rin looks at him, very much like a goldfish, before closing his mouth with a smile. “Yeah, of course.”

They make their way over to the nearest wall, pull themselves out. The fresh against Rin’s skin makes him shiver, although he really is not that sure if it _is_ the wind, not with Haru by his side.

_It’s alright Rin, it’s alright, you’ll tell him another day._

They dive in gracefully, like they’re used to, and in seconds, the race is at full speed. They’re swimming freestyle, of course they are.

Rin feels the pressure, he feels the water against his skin, the speed he’s going is something he could only wish for a couple of years ago. But most of all the can feel Haruka swimming a mere meter away from him. He can _feel_ Haruka. He can feel him talking as he swims, he can almost hear him in that stupid monotone voice of his, _swim with me, Rin_. BecaseHaru is that anchor that pulls him forward, Haru is the one who has always made him want to be better, to push himself. It’s always been Haru, hasn’t it? And he’s felt it, he’s felt being free, like his friend has told him countless times, he felt it when he swam with the Iwatobi Club, but right now it’s different. As his muscles ache from the speed, he can feel it alongside Haru, he’s _flying_ , he’s burning, he’s thunder. And if Rin’s thunder, Haru’s lightning.

The race is coming to an end, even from where they are he can see Haru, even if by the smallest of spaces, is ahead of him. Rin doesn’t care.

They finally stop, both breathing erratically, and before knows what he’s doing, before he thinks of it might entail, Rin swims towards Haru and touches his lips with his own.

It’s wet, and it’s one of the most awkward kisses in the world, Rin is sure of it, but it’s perfect, it’s perfect. If he thought swimming was the love of his life, he was wrong. Because with one small kiss from Haru, Rin has felt a thousand times more alive than when he’s swimming. Because Haruka’s kissing him back. He’s holding him close and their bodies get warmer with each second that passes.

“Haru…Haru I think I might be…” he gasps for air and shivers.

“In love with me?” Haru finishes for him, a small smile playing on his face.

“Don’t be a dick.” Rin rolls his eyes fondly, but pecks him again.

“Am too. I think.”

Rin opens his eyes with smile, “Ok, ok.”

Even with all the years he’s known Haru, this still feels new and exciting, and Rin likes it very, very much.

There’s a couple of people now entering the pool too, and it were any other day or with any other person, Rin might blush and pull away.

But right now, he thinks, he doesn't even notice. Not if Haruka is by his side.

~

**Author's Note:**

> wow thank you if you stuck till the end!  
> merry christmas!  
> 


End file.
